Drive Through Part Two

January 19, not even a month we noted somewhat shockingly that people are driving through buildings (“Drive Through Service,” January 19, in HUMOR).  It was not quite 3 weeks into the year and we had already heard of local drivers violating stores, banks, restaurants, and various other brick and mortar type stationary objects on the average of once every 3 days.  We implored you to write to building owners to erect safety walls and to petition the US Department of Transportation to promulgate regulations requiring solid object early warning signals in all cars, SUVs, and light trucks.

We don’t think you took us seriously.  Seriously, this is becoming a serious problem.  If 3 weeks into the year the car vs. building rate was one every 3 days, the next 3 weeks has taken an even worse turn (no pun intended).  We’ve heard of 10 more instances of buildings not being able to jump out of the way in time before being attacked by metal, steel, rubber, and presumably licensed drivers.  This round of concrete carnage included a bank, an office building, and the law school offices at one of the local universities. 

So as of today, we are at vehicles 17, calendar 34.  That’s one case of vehicular buildingslaughter every 2.6 days.  That’s increasing from the previous rate of one every 2.7 days.  At this rate we’ll reach the rate of one car/building collision every day by September 28.  (You can check the math but we’re sure that’s right.  He of We was working the calculator.  That’s a sure sign it was checked 47 times for accuracy.)

It is worth noting that this group of poor parkers included a more determined errant driver.   Witnesses at one of the spectacles noted that the vehicle paused at a stop sign, proceeded through the intersection, turned onto the sidewalk, climbed the stairs, and drove into the revolving doors.  Creative.  Most people would have waited until they passed a gas station to look for a public rest room.

These statistics are for our own local metropolitan area.  Although our area is known for some peculiar driving quirks, the steadfast refusal to use sun visors when driving east during shimmering morning rush hours and turning left just before the light turns green are two of them.  Purposely driving into buildings has not been a local drivers’ diversion in the past.  It’s possible we’ve suddenly become the center of brick butchery.  Or it could be a more universal problem.  You should check your local papers to determine if this is becoming a worldwide phenomenon.

Those would be the only choices – local trend or universal bad driving.  On our first post we questioned whether anyone thought it might be because any of those people behind the wheels were also behind their cell phones.  But that couldn’t be.  Almost every state has now passed laws against distracted driving.  Nobody would violate a traffic law like that, would they?  Besides, it’s a silly law, right up there with observing speed limits and wearing seat belts.  What could possibly happen?

We’ll check back with you toward the end of September.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?