Take my keys, please

Recently I was watching an old episode of Mike and Molly where they test drive a Rolls Royce. Because they could. It got me thinking, had I ever test drove something I had no intention of buying just because I wanted to drive it? And because I could? And I think TestDrivethe answer is yes. Yeah, I said I think. I’m old. I’ve driven a lot of cars over the years. Some I didn’t buy but I’m not sure if some I never intended to. Let me think on that for a while.

While I am thinking on that, how about you? Did you ever go into a dealership and say “I’d like to try out that Ferrari. Pay no attention to the holes in my jeans. They’re fashionable and I’m eccentric.” Or maybe not a car. Did you ever try to get your way onto a boat where you knew you didn’t belong? Sneak into first class with a standby coach ticket? Have you ever bought a really large screen TV for a game or movie or can’t miss TV wedding and returned it the day after? Or what about trying on something just to see what it felt like – a Patek Phillipe watch, a Burberry coat, Christian Louboutin shoes (um, women only please on that last one)?

Have we gotten to that point of entitlement or was the Mike and Molly episode just a comedic premise? Perhaps I’m overthinking this. Maybe it’s no worse to take the chance to drive a $300,000 car or wear a $100,000 watch than to move to the lower seats after the 8th inning as people leave the game to beat the traffic.

While you were thinking about all that I went back through the memory banks in search of disingenuous test drive recollections. And I do recall once being behind the wheel of a 25th Anniversary Corvette that I was pretty sure I wouldn’t buy but I don’t think I went in with the intention of not intending to. But even if I did I can balance that out with the time I drove a 1963 Corvette with the intention of buying but didn’t.

In that same vein, I’ve never rented a TV for the Super Bowl (that’s a cliché, if anything I would have rented it for the Stanley Cup Playoffs but that’s stretched over weeks), I don’t wear watches, I’ve never even seen first class, and I can’t wear heels.




  1. I don’t think I’ve ever test-driven a car when I wasn’t in the market for one – but I did test-drive a Mini even though its ticket price was far above my max payment.

    Visiting used car lots when I’m not in the market for new wheels isn’t something I’ve ever thought of doing – mainly because that involves exposure to used car salespersons.

    I turn into a different person when confronted with someone who employs high-pressure sales tactics on me…think the Hulk in Heels.

    1. Don’t do that! Nobody looks good in green skin. Well, maybe Kermit.

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