Use As Directed

Here where we are it is maple syrup festival time.  That’s one of our favorite times.  The only unfortunate part of it is that sometimes festivals overlap and we have to pick one. This year is such a year and we are picking the one with more variety and more vendors to maximize our festival festivities.  It so happens that the festival we selected is one where we have purchased a great deal of arts and craft items, not the least of which was a 5 foot wooden palm tree, a 4 x 5 foot painting, and a tricked out boogie board.  All in the same year if we recall correctly.

It also so happens that quite very recently, He of We changed cars.  No longer is there a large SUV with oodles of cargo space.  Now there is a simple mid-size sedan with a more modest payload.  It was early yesterday morning when He started wondering what we would do without the oodles of cargo space.  Apparently He wondered this out loud because Daughter of We picked that time to remind him, “But Dad, you once took a tree home in the Miata.”

And she was right.  This was not a five foot wooden palm tree but a four foot, live, ornamental flowering peach which now graces She of We’s front yard.  It was transported from store to home, about 12 miles, sitting on the floor in front of the passenger seat of the little two seat convertible that spends its summers being our get-away vehicle.  She spotted the tree and knew just where it should go.  Not having a proper way to transport it did not deter us.  We understood perfectly well that not having a roof means you can carry almost anything.  In the right orientation.  So, into the car it went, behind it on the seat She went, and altogether we went with She holding on to the trunk (of the tree, not the car) to its ultimate destination.

And what does this have to do with anything, other than it surely brought questions to the minds of passing motorists along our journey.  What it has to do is how often we do the opposite of what should be done and still come out just fine.  (That would be the Queen’s We, not necessarily just the us We.)

For example, Every recipe in the world that requires an oven somewhere during the process begins with, “Pre-heat oven to blah-blah degrees.”  Really?   Or does one turn on the oven, do whatever prep is necessary, toss in whatever is going there and says “Close enough, I’ll add 15 minutes at the end.”

Or how about vacuuming the stairs with the large, heavy, upright vacuum cleaner rather than looking for the hose, the extension wand, and the attachment, and then remembering how to put it all together.

All owner’s manuals and most gas pumps warn against “topping off” the gas tank.  Has anybody actually ever seen anybody else calmly pulling out the nozzle when the automatic shut off shuts off?  It we did that how would we ever be guaranteed an even dollar amount at the pump?

Just because we have gotten away with these doesn’t mean you should make it a practice of ignoring the safety rules.  So don’t!  But if you ever see a little red Miata motoring down the highway with a tree sticking out the top, that might not be the best time to remind us to do the same.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?



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