A while ago He of We stopped at a pizza shop new to him. It was late, he hadn’t had dinner, didn’t feel like making dinner, always wanted to try this pizza, so it seemed like a good idea. He walked up to the counter and with all the confidence of a starving man said, “I’ll take a small pepperoni.” “We don’t have small. Only large and extra large.” Hmm, a quandary. So he asked for the smaller of the two and it was confirmed that would be the large.
We might have stumbled on to something. Although we don’t have the statistics at our fingertips, we are pretty sure Americans are getting bigger. They seem to be compared to what we recall from our youth. Could it be because there is no more small? At He’s work cafeteria there is no small soft drink. Although not as excessive as the big 32 ounce mega-mugs many convenience stores sell as their standard drink size, it is still disconcerting that one has to buy twice as much liquid refreshment as one wants because of limited sizes. Many fast food restaurants only have small beverages to go with their small kid size meals. Everything else is upsized.
It’s not just food and beverages that have grown. In this age of tighter fuel economy and higher gas prices, cars are growing. Friend of Daughter of He recently bought the small SUV Chevy Equinox, which is every bit as long and wide as He’s older mid-sized GMC Envoy, whose replacement the Acadia is as large as his previous full size GMC Yukon whose new replacement wouldn’t even fit into the garage which is why he ended up with the Envoy. There is something wrong here.
Or perhaps not. If everything small is now large it saves us the embarrassment in front of friends and family of wanting the wimpy size. At the same time, it allows up to be superior to friends and family by not having to settle for the wimpy size. We ask for the smallest available and it will be larger than whatever anybody else already has. Then if they want bigger they can go and order the compact which will be bigger still. And so on, and so on, and so on.
Now that we have that all sorted out we’re left with only one other question. What happened to medium?
Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?