The first day of summer is just a few days gone and it’s time to revisit our summer fashion rules.
Most men won’t admit it. Most other women won’t say it. the bottom line is we don’t want to see you half naked in public. Check your hems, watch your buttons. Unintentional flashes of skin is sexy. Intentional undressing is slutty.
Swimsuits are for swimming, or for backyard tanning. Nobody would go to a production of the local symphony wearing a tankini? Just because a quart of milk is the entire shoppingn list, it isn’t a reason not to get dressed before heading off for the store. A cover up over a swimsuit works for being at or going to the pool but not in the actual acts of swimming or tanning.. Grow up, wear clothes.
High heels and short shorts don’t go together. Period. Not even if one works with a brass pole nearby. A business suit and flip flops don’t go together. Period. Not even if one works at the beach. Keep styles stylish.
We know that women don’t want to be encumbered by big bags or totes exept maybe at the pool. But don’t succomb to the urge to snug your cell phone under a bra strap. There, we said it.
Sleeves are mandatory. Not areas formerly occupied by sleeves, the entire sleeve. They are the cross pieces that put the T in T-Shirt. They are needed. They are required. As are the shirts they accompany. Come on men, the shirtless look hasn’t worked since the opening scenes of Bay Watch flickered across television screens. Then it wasn’t the best of look even for those on the screen. It is the worst of looks for those who are in the process of upgrading the six pack they really never had for the quarter keg they have every weekend.
Hair long enough to be in a ponytail on a male only looks good on a male pony. This seems to be more an old man issue. The young ones have discovered the ease that comes from buzzing hair down to a bit less than a quarter of an inch. For the others, you’re old, you’re gray, and you’re balding. No, you’re bald. Don’t add to the insanity by having hair halfway down your back and certainly not in braids! Shave it off, put on your shirt, and move along.
Flip flops are not shoes. Leave them at the pool, with your shirt. Mandals are fine, but like the rest of you, grooming is essential. Just because your feet are the farthest away from your brain, don’t be brainless about your feet. Well groomed, trimmed, washed, and buffed feet are also healthy feet.
It’s hot out there. You can be too. Pay a little attention to the person in the mirror and watch how many pay attention to you on the outside.
Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?