Everybody with a cell phone, please raise your hand. If you have a case or holster for it, keep your hand up. A blue tooth or earbud/mic combo, please continue holding your hand up. If you have more than one charger as in house and car or house and office, please keep your hand raised. Continue to hold your hand up if you have removable chip, stick, or minidisk for data and pictures. And lastly, if you have a car mount, keep your hand up. Is your hand still up? Congratulations, you have fallen victim to the accessory demons. It’s ok, we have also.
We first found the accessory demon in the Sunday advertising supplement some months ago. It wasn’t enough to have a tablet or iPad or reader, with or without a nice protective case and ear phones to listen while you read or write or sort pictures. Nope, that was when we saw, and even on sale, the iPad pillow. Yes, it is possible now to read or write or sort pictures with or without listening to music while not having to hold said device. Plop tablet in pillow, plop person on couch, plop pillow on lap, now veg. In hands-free comfort – except for the touch screen sweepy finger.
The device demon does not live just in the electronics department. All those with a barbeque grill, please stand up. If you have a thermometer, a grill light, a three sided grill brush, an electric starter for gas or charcoal, a chimney starter (charcoal only please), an aftermarket rotisserie, a smoker box, or a fish, vegetable, corn on the cob, hot dog, chicken or pizza specialty holder, please remain standing. We thought so.
Are there any campers out there? We recently saw a tent advertised featuring 2 rooms, sleeps eight, and two rear closets, available for the low, low price of $179.99. (Neither of We’s bedrooms has two closets!) On the same page or following pages we saw the air mattresses, pillows, camp stoves, lanterns, mesh chairs, folding tables, coolers, and canopies that, for only 2 people, added up to another $410. Apparently getting away from it all is cheap. Getting away fully accessorized isn’t.
Someone out there in the world of long ago, when the book was first invented, said to him or herself, “Self, I think I’ll invent the book mark.” That marketing master’s descendants have never given in. With each invention comes the accessory. The best of them invent the “can’t live without” accessory. Many have thought they could beat the accessory demon by not accessorizing their accessories. They would put their phones on a nearby table when not in use and hold them in their hands to the side of their face when using it. That they would gauge the heat of the charcoal by holding an open palm six inches above it and the doneness of the burger by touch. That they would camp under the stars on a bed of pine needles. Yeah, right!
The only way to beat them is to give up our phones and tablets and grills and tents and everything else we can’t live without. Once you figure out how to do that be sure to write about it. We’ll read your report on our tablet, the one in the protective case, with the detachable keyboard and snap on night light, the one over there on the table next to the MP3 player we’re downloading music onto. Uh huh.
Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?
Did we mention the bell, basket, lights, and speedometer for the bicycle? The over-shower organizer, tissue holder, shower gel dispenser, or talking scale for the bathroom? The steamer for the closet? The four-way lug wrench for the car? Wait, we’re not done! How about the electric coskscrew? The power juicer? The Clapper!? Ok, we’re done.