Things We Learned On Election Day

The election is over.  According to the news coverage of this year’s Presidential election, we learned that candidates through social media were able to go directly to the voters and skip the traditional news outlet thus creating excitement in getting out and voting in numbers we’ve not seen before.  Worldwide there was more interest in our election by some people than in the elections in their own countries.  It came after a campaign that stretched over 17 months and $8 billion.  Anything that big must have some lasting lessons learned.  Here are ours.

When Election Day falls on the first really cold day of the year, people get to break out their winterwear for the first time.  This means that many of them will end up wearing lift tickets from last ski season on their jackets like either a) a medal attesting to their prowess on the beginners’ slope, b) visible proof that they are of the means to take ski vacations even if it was 8 months ago, or c) equally visible proof that they don’t have a mirror handy to the front door.

There will be at least one person within 15 feet of you who is at the wrong precinct and will do his darnedest to try convincing the judge of elections to let him vote where he already is.

Even though at the primaries people were very obvious about who they were supporting for a variety of offices by wearing buttons, carrying signs, or having their favorite candidate’s name carved into their hairstyle, when the general election rolls around it is very obvious that nobody wants to admit who they are supporting by the complete lack or signs, cards, signs, placards and buttons, or the unexplained presence of hair extensions.

Somebody is going to have a hat that will make others want to laugh out loud.  Somebody else will be wearing gloves that don’t match.

Speaking of signs, campaign signs on public roadsides, intersections, and highway exit ramps will remain there forever next to the Humphrey/Muskie signs behind the guide rail.

People who want their first graders to experience democracy in action should do it after school because doing it before on an election day that is supposed to bring out 115% of registered voters will cause the child to steam and scream when he and/or she figures out that school started 10 minutes ago.

Newscasters really do believe states are either red or blue.

If you’re standing in a line outside a polling place there will be somebody behind you who wants to talk to somebody in front of you and the somebody in front of you will always invite the somebody behind you to come up and join him but never the other way around.

It doesn’t matter who won, who lost, or who got a write-in vote, but it matters very much that the campaigns are over and we can now go back to watching television ads for the magic ear wax vacuum.

Now, that’s what we think. Really. How ‘bout you?




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