Cirque du Sex

When is oral sex in public ok?  When the people who are doing it tell you so.  In another case of bad behavior gone worse, a couple (we’re not sure if they are a “couple” or just two people) decided during a performance of Cirque du Soleil Totem in Del Mar, CA was the right time.  Being drunk sometimes clouds your judgment.  Being stupid will also.

Since it’s been all over the Internet you’re probably familiar with most of the details.  Two people get bored with the show and she starts bobbing her head in his lap.  Tickets for that performance ranged from $45 to $90 a seat.  Even at the low end the performance on the stage was probably worth it and the performance in the stands wasn’t more than a pair of arrogant, self-important losers who can’t find anything positive around them that doesn’t include them.  But we digress.  When chipper chickie starts doing her thing on the chirpy chap, a lady behind them decided her $45 to $90 didn’t not include an amateur sex play and complained.  Others around them used their cell phones to alert security.  That’s when the somewhat occupied fellow reportedly told them all to mind their own business or he’d kill them.

A pair of 5 year olds sitting in front of Deeper Throat, the Sequel, got to wondering what was going on and turn around to get their eyeful.  That’s when Mr. Throat gave one of them a high five.  After all, he was reaching his peak and was wanted to share his feelings with his intellectual and emotional peers.  Ms. Deep clearly had no peers so she just slugged one of those who first complained.  Three times.  In the face.

It got us to thinking, what kind of people do that?  What kind of people have sex in public, get caught, and act both childishly and violently when confronted? What kind of people get arrested, and still get to collect their paychecks while on administrative leave during an investigation of the incident?  Government employees, that’s who.

Yep, the amorous couple…we mean the non-lady and the tramp …are border patrol agents.  According to the Customs and Border Patrol official web-site, each officer takes “a solemn vow to secure the homeland from terrorists and other threats.”  Apparently the female officer was simply trying to restrain an overgrown child who struck a five year on the open palm of his hand and then subdued an apparent rude individual who used a cell phone during a public performance interrupting the show for hundreds of paying patrons of the arts.     

So that clears it all up.  Except for one thing.  How was it that while in the process of getting oral sex, the fat bastard managed to verbally assault those around him and cavort with the little kiddies in the row in front of him?  We guess she wasn’t that good.

Now, that’s what we think.  Really.  How ‘bout you?


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